Friday, August 7, 2009

Inventory and Goats

As promised...inventory pictures! The oh so kind inventory people just threw everything on the ground or into the wall when they were done store was a mess!! I would say more about inventory,'s boring.
So, as I was driving home from inventory last night, I started thinking about drivers in Nashville. And how most drivers nowadays have the mental capacity of potato salad. Believe it or not, some drivers actually think that that white broken line down the middle of the interstate MUST mean that they place half of their vehicle on one side of this line and half on the other. Other, even more astute drivers are under the impression that driving so incredibly slowly I could pass them if I were riding a goat is acceptable. Let me just say to these people that when, after I have passed you, I do not appreciate that then, and ONLY then do you realize that you are going slow, and hence speed up and make me feel like an idiot when you whiz past me. Also, using some turn signals would be nice now and then. Even just a flicker before you swerve in front of me at the cost of my life would be good. You know, especially at night, when it's raining.
Anyways, when I got home, I wasn't feeling well, so I thought I would take my temperature just in case. I grabbed an old thermomemter out of my bathroom, and it said...101!!! I went to bed immediately, determined to go to the doctor today if it wasn't better. I woke up this morning feeling decidedly better than I did last night. I decided to take my temperature again, just to be sure, but again, it was 101. Thinking this was odd, I turned it off and tried again. To my dismay, I was still apparently melting, even though I felt well enough to, say, ride a goat up and down a freeway. Becoming a little suspicious, I performed a number of scientific tests to determine the authenticity of my thermometer, and here is what I doscovered: a switched on light bulb, my dog, cold tap water, leftover chicken, the couch cushion, and middle "c" on the piano ALSO had a temperature of 101! Incredible! Either the thermometer was stuck on 101, or I was so sick that I was deliriously hallucinating my disease onto various household items. The first option was obviously absolutely ludicrous...I mean, when is sceince and technology ever wrong, right? So I rode my goat to the hospital. I think I'm getting better. It's that leftover chicken that's still looking sick.

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